I Felt This Would Be Appreciated

Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew

This one does the Mama Sue dance

Bye Bye

Wonka, part 1

Check out the program :) Anne did a great job! We open in 2 days!!!

Best Public Service Announcement Ever?

She May Look Like Avatar but...

At least she isn't as offensive as this couple.

The routine was so atrocious. 

Avatar on Ice

Umm... I don't mean to be critical. I mean, she is a beautiful skater... but does she not bear a remarkable similarity to an avatar?

Mouths of Babes, part 3

The kids were given an assignment to memorize a portion of the "I Have a Dream" speech by MLK. Some of my kids wanted to be taped... here you go :)

A Little Spoken Word

Mom asked that I post this for you all....

Sweethearts get current

I know this will show up backwards... but I was amused/ horrified/ confused to see that Sweethearts have updated their phrases. New to the infamous candy messaging system are both "text me" and "my boo"... Shall we vote? Good, bad, further evidence of all things evil taking over all things or healthy progress in the world of communication?
*** Actual poll posted to the left... Express yourself!! ***

Gimp report #2

One of these things is things is not like the others

For the last few weeks my right ring finger has been steadily growing. It started with a little bump on my knuckle; then it got really creaky and sore. Now, it is pretty much non-bendy and really painful. Since this most certainly isn't covered by my catastrophic insurance policy I finally went to the store to buy a splint in hopes that keeping it stabilized will get it back on the road to its normal pudgy digit status. I am now the owner of the deluxe finger care kit; complete with foam & aluminum splint, finger freezer ice pack ( a nifty little tube to stick my tender finger in) and two bands to use to keep 2 fingers together. All of my new handicap-chic accessories make having such a jankie finger a little bit more bearable. So far they seem to be helping a little bit but certainly didn't prevent me from having a dream last night that my finger needed to be amputated. Hopefully I'll be back in fighting form soon cause let me tell you none of my new bling options make typing easy.

**Update: I thought you guys might wanna see the caliber of accouterment I am now rocking

My Ears

I am doing my best to not freak out about this... but it seems I am suffering from permanent hearing loss. I woke up on Sunday with this "whirrrr" sound in my ears and feelings of dizzyness and nausea. I have had some trouble with my ears in the last few weeks, which I associated with my jaw being locked and thus unable to drain everything properly. The pain went away w/ sinus meds and I thought I was on the mend. Turns out, not so. Yesterday I saw the doctor and they have referred me to an ENT specialist, who evidently has a really nice sound booth which my nurse practitioner could not stop raving about, but gave me the initial diagnosis of hearing loss. I was not too concerned because it seemed so clear to me that there was something in my ear, that the sound was just because I could not get my ears to pop. Then... I looked online at WebMD and this is what I found:

What are the symptoms?
Common symptoms of hearing loss include:

Muffled hearing and a feeling that your ear is plugged.
Trouble understanding what people are saying, especially when other people are talking or when there is background noise, such as a radio.
Listening to the TV or radio at a higher volume than in the past.
Avoiding talking with or being around other people.
Depression. Many adults may become depressed because of how hearing loss affects their social lives.
Other symptoms may include:

A ringing, roaring, hissing, or buzzing in the ear, called tinnitus.
Ear pain, itching, irritation, or fluid leaking from the ear.
A feeling that you or your surroundings are spinning (vertigo).


This pretty much describes me, except that my social life is yet to suffer. Has me feeling pretty flipped out. If this "whirr" and nausea is permanent, as the website implied, I will not be a very happy camper. Doesn't it seem strange that you can just wake up with hearing loss?? Grrr....

You know you are busy when...

You find yourself typing substitute instructions while listening to your voice mail while texting while teaching...

2 weeks until Willy Wonka hits the stage!! Crazyness has deeply set in. Visiting other middle schools because mine will have the addition of 6th graders next year and I am a department head. Taking kids to the cabin this weekend. Teaching full time. Ahhh!!

Fun With T-Shirts

Watch the guy on the left. His eyebrows are fantastic!

Lily the Bear, 1

I think you guys know I have been obsessed with Lily the Bear in Ely, MN for the last 3 weeks. Lily gave birth to a bear cub on a live video feed that has been hooked up on her den. The camera is non-disruptive, and Lily mostly has been sleeping since the cub was born. However, there are glimpses of the wee cub from time to time and it is pretty darn cute. Some youtube videos have captured these moments, so I thought I would share them with you. If you want to watch the live feed, or read the updates, you should visit: http://www.bear.org

Lily also has a Facebook page, fyi :)

34 Pearls from 34 Friends

A new year, a new lesson.  Here are 34 answers to this question: 

If you could tell the world one thing, what would it be?

1. life isn't fair so quit your crying  -Elle Stassen

2. STOP FUCKING FIGHTING ABOUT THAT SHITTY STRIP OF LAND IN JERUSALEM  -Kate Chamberlain

3. Laugh everyday  -Camille Heinrich

4. always ask yourself if the juice is worth the squeeze  -Doug Stroup

5. i would tell them life is simple and beautiful, and that interaction with others and relationships are the only experiences of any true value  -Ben Johnson

6. 8 inches  -Chris Peck

7. If they look for it, I've got a sneaking suspicion... love actually is all around.   -Kevin Prendergast

8. Things happen for a reason   -Saara Koskinen

9. Be kind.   -Emma Zumberge

10.   Don't get fries with every meal.   -Scott Loving

11. Control your mind or it will control you.    -Steve Tralongo

12.   Life is short. Party on Sunday.    -Dan Goetz

13. You are responsible for creating your own happiness. Take the bull by the effing horns and go after what is important to you and makes you happy because no one is going to do it for you!   -Kristen Wallace

14. Rehab is for quitters.   -Jennifer Petters

15. Be thankful for each day and the connectivity of life.  cherish the responsibility of creating yourself.  -Fish

16.   live the life you dream of....but i probably wouldn't say that to the whole world, probably just the lazy fools in the 

US and A.      -Lauren Phillips

17. be grateful.   -Kamille Swenson

18. Don't take what you have for granted.     -Tori Tenner

19. Quit bitching and deal with it....  That's what I'd tell people. Wait, I don't tell that to the Haitians, Tsunami Victims or Vikings Fans.  Those people got hosed.   -Kyle Simmons

20. Plan for Tomorrow, but always live for Today.   -Connor Best

21.  Take risk because I can’t imagine anything worse than looking back on my life with regret. I never want to say … “I should have done..” or “why didn’t I do…” na mean.  -Chris Peck

22. Life is not an equation, so there's no sense in trying to figure it all out.   -Max Schelper

23. have the courage of your desire.  -Tom Buchok quoting some other guy

24. Read to your children as much as possible.   -Lillian Zumberge

25.  You get what you put in. Do the work, take care of the people you love,

compassion is awesome, so are dogs. -hz

26. We all do better, when we all do better.   -Aunt Mary quoting Paul Wellstone 

27. Make sure you keep a smile of your face -JP Collett

28. Masturbate then decide. -Taylor Bos

29. People need to start taking more responsibility for their actions. The amount of litigation in this world is outrageous. -Christine Wood

30. Go to bluestonegarden.com and buy something. -Jay Dillon 

31. cats not kids -Lauren Schaffhausen

32. LET IT BE -Tim Sak 

33."You miss 100% of the shots you dont take. - Wayne Gretzky" - Michael Scott - Doug Stroup

34. " life is like french cheese. It often stinks but you love it" - Morgan Tharinger

HB Hits A Quarter Century!!!

So many thoughts on this, HB's 25th Birthday. It's been an endlessly entertaining experience baring witness, and in some cases participating in, Baby Bear's unpredictable and inspiring cha-cha-cha into adulthood. Memories of choreographing brilliant dance shows, lengthy road trips, sharing a bedroom, cast removal, EZ Shlepping Services NYC, the Italian coast and so very many more spillith over. So, I figured I'd go the photo route. Here are a few of my fav Hannah moments...

Thanks to the magic of cameras Hannah became an angel

Uh, yeah what we do for fun. 

Papa Bear & Baby Bear in their nature habitat, Mexico

Just another cuddle session

Pretty much the only girl I know who can pull off a leopard muumuu with no shame

Mother daughter moment

25? I don't believe it. 

Love you bear.

Happy Birthday Hannah!!

In honor of HB's 25th birthday, I have made a list of things I love about, and/ or, associate with her:

1. I love how she makes things so beautiful. She has such a great eye for style and aesthetics.
2. I always think of her when I eat the following: water chestnuts, mandarin oranges, french onion dip, tomato soup, or mussels (especially if I eat any of them with a ridiculously small fork)
3. When HB was little she hated clothes... always parading around in the bare minimum, if not just the bare. As an adult she has refined her look into something more presentable, and mostly covered :)
4. Hannah spent the least amount of time in Montana when we were kids, but is often the most eager to talk about those memories and the only one to return to living in mountains as a young adult
5. She loves weird stuff from all over the map. Meaning, you can barely predict what she will think of a movie, music, art, etc.
6. Secretly, she is a truly amazing artist
7. She is probably the funniest person I know
8. She will lay on the floor with a lab, even in a great outfit
9. She wears the same pants every day :)
10. I feel like I have really watched her grow up because of the 6 years between us, and I am so excited by her ever increasing thoughtfulness, curiosity, wisdom, caring and amazing talents


I love you Hannah Bear!! I hope you have a wonderful birthday and a fabulous 25th year!!!

I want this kind of spare time...

Maybe someday we can pull off something this coordinated.

From the Mouths of Babes- Part 2

See... I told you this would have several posts.

Today, I had to give a non-fiction pre test. Kids were given an article and they had to do things like find evidence of fact, opinion, bias and use inference. I chose to give them an article about the rise of HIV and AIDS in Minnesota. Mid-way into this process we had this conversation:

J: so, if there was so much more sex happening in the 70's then
me: wait, why do you think that?
J: cuz, it says they was havin all this sex
me: well, they were having sex with more people but that does not necessarily mean that they had more sex
J; huh
me: if someone has sex with their husband every night it is the same as if someone else has sex with someone different every night. same amount of sex, just different number of partners.
Tal: ok, well lets just say Luscious smashed the homie, and Diamond smashed her husband... but Luscious smashed the homie like 10 times in one night and Diamond just smashed her husband once. Which one is more likely to get AIDS?
me: I don't know what "smashed the homie" means
Tal: like sex, ya know
me: well, I guess it depends on if the homie or the husband has AIDS...?
J: so, it doesn't matter... like even if he is a minute man, ya know, just in and out real quick... it just can pass either way, the AIDS?
me: yes J, even if he is a minute man

** As always, names are disguised... both J and Tal are boys, fyi

From the Mouths of Babes- Part 1

It is not my intention to follow one series with the beginning of another, but as I am typically able to send out an email a week with some entertaining quote by a student it seems wise to serialize it.

For the foreseeable future one particular student will most likely steal the spotlight in this show. We will call him Tal (talks a lot).
Tal also has the nickname among the teachers of "gopher", although I prefer "meerkat" due to their cool kickstand tails, because he has the uncanny ability to slip out of his desk and pop up randomly in some other part of the classroom.

Yesterday Tal came into class all in a twitch because during lunch, which splits his hour in half, there was a fight. He asked me several times if I wanted to hear what happened and when I said no, that I wanted him to do his work, he just sat there staring at me. Compromise: he could write down the explanation and then get to work.

Here is his explanation, as written by him- * names are changed


"Ok sara said that katie was her homie and that no females or Nxxxxxx can come between us ok saras white she cant say the N word so Amy got mad and confronted sara and snapped on her. But Amy's white so she cant say notthin eiter so katie's mad because of that and snapped on Amy then was about to fight. ding, ding, ding, round 1"

Wearing Her Pants [part 1] In Which Emma Takes On Lilly's Job

Lil and I thought a series might be fun so I proposed we each attempt some of the more menial tasks of another's work or life and share the results. We're bound to have some pretty interesting results considering how wildly divergent each of our lives are. So be sure to stay tuned. Conveniently dovetailing this decision was Lil's request for a little help with her lesson planning. So, without further delay, I give you part 1 in which I (emma) takes on Lill'y job:

Every once in a while Lil will ask me to write paragraphs for her class using the vocab list for the week. When I'm not absolutely slammed with work this task is a nice little break from the norm. She'll send me a list of words and a theme and I set to work. In the past I've popped out paragraphs on adobe monasteries, political libel and a Pittsburgh teen's SAD. She poked me just a bit ago for another assignment and I figured I might as well share my homework with the masses.

These were the words:
narrative • subjective • speculation • heading • main idea • objective • excerpt • dialect • exposition • figure of speech
Theme: Non-Fiction Lit

I will preface this exposition by saying I can in no way promise the information contained within this excerpt is subjective. However, in the face of growing speculation I figured some attempt at a narrative is necessary. The main idea being that some sort of record of events will be useful in heading off further rumors. I will do my best to remain objective, forego the local dialect and avoid using figures of speech like metaphors and hyperbole in an attempt to provide an accurate and widely understandable recounting of what actually happened. 

Yeah, I know brilliant bit of prose eh? Leaves you wondering what would come next. I like to leave a little room for the imagination of those wily middle school kid's minds to wander. Encouraging distraction is something I'm very good at; it is also the reason I would probably be a horrid middle school teacher. I bow in respect to you lil. 

Bats

Little things like this will always shake loose a smirk because, at the end of the day, I'm a 5 year old. 

Grammys...We Coulda Done Better

Did you guys watch the Grammy's last night? I had my friends Danielle & Joey (both Carls) in town so I made them watch it with Ry & I. Danielle was hysterical; she added the perfect color commentary in her classy Trinidadian accent and the bits when E dropped in between calls w/ her fella were even more so due to her tipsy status. I thought I'd share a few highlights, observations and conclusions

Conclusion 1: Someday, to fully express my <3 for Lady Gaga I will have this image (backup dancer and all) tatt'ed on my calf.

Observation 1: Imogene Heap won for best engineering on her album which she produced, recorded & engineered by herself with input from Twitter. A first on many levels.

Obsevation 2: They should just give up on actually presenting the awards. These are not normally articulate people giving them a mic and cutting out precious performance time is a waste of broadcast space. I mean, if they just made it like Jingle Ball with a few totally rando duets tossed in ratings would soar.

Highlight 1: Beyonce 3-D jam

Observation 3: Danielle: "Oh, I totally made this song up when I was 12" re TayTay Swift's brand of "princess rock"

Conclusion 4: This in no way is a "simple" outfit. Its like she lost a fight with a doilie.

Highlight 2: Every second Colbert was on screen. 

Observation 4: Are kids the new hot accessory?

Highlight 3: This tweet sums up all there is to say about TayTay Swift's performances

SESweeting GUISE OMG, TAYLOR SWIFT IS NOT OFF-KEY. SHE IS SINGING IN THE FAIRYTALE OCTAVE.

Ok gotta get back to work but feel free to add you own observations etc. :)